Life as an adopted child
Information about adoption & shared experiences from an adopted childLAST POST ADOPTION
I have been writing my blogs for my intro computers class. My feelings toward blogs honestly are I don’t like writing them. I feel like no one really cares what I have to say. I will not be continuing my blog after today unless I am really bored and I have nothing to due. Its just the truth. My topic is important to me but I enjoy reading about it not writing. Blogging for me is to much work because I am very busy outside of school. I work constantly and if I’m not working I am at home with my family, spending time with my boyfriend and my friends. During the summer I plan to get away from any SCHOOL work possible and relax and enjoy being a graduate. I will be working to make money so I can travel to Brazil with my boyfriend in February for Carnival. I also will be saving to go to South Africa for the Next World Cup.
Being a blogger is a lot of work. having an assignment to write at least 500 words is very challenging and sometimes I didn’t have 500 words to say. I don’t like having a certain amount of length because if I can get my point across in less than 100 words who cares how many words I type? Also being restricted to only writing about one topic in my class was pretty annoying because I would have liked to write about other things in addition to adoption.
I think that blogs add to my field by sharing experiences, different point of views and advice. When researching I found many blogs that told their own stories which is experience. I saw people who thought that they were different and didn’t like being adopted and others who had a great life experience which would be different points of view. Also people who had been adopted or who adopted gave advice for other people looking for it. The downfall of blogs is not everyone knows their facts so this could steer people away from them. Also a downfall is that there no way to tell if the blogs are factual or if the person made it up because most don’t include a bibliography.
I have learned a lot about my field but most of all I learned about international adoption. I learned about how the adoption process is really hard, its a life time experience and you need to be ready and need to be a strong person. I saw the perspectives of males which I didn’t expect. I don’t think my topic is huge in the media and blogesphere. Most people don’t know much about it. There is definitely an audience for my field, the audience would be: people looking to adopt, people who are adopted, people who have adopted children and pregnant women who are undecided on what to do. I think that interviews with people that were adopted or have crazy adoption stories would be very cool to put in a blog. I would love to read that.
A really good blog I read ;http://www.motherhelp.info/about_me.htm. This blog was an experiance a woman had having to give up babies. Its so touching and I liked her story it gave me the prospective from the birth mother.
A great website to gather information on costs is ;http://domestic-infant.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/how-much-does-it-cost This website is very informative. It gives great details on costs. It also gives tips on saving money!
http://www.smudailymustang.com/?p=11275 , This website is a news blog or article that is very helpful to learning about current adoption issued and topics going on in the world.
I think that the online adoption field is already very technologically advanced. I wouldn’t go buy a whole book on adoption. I would simply type my question into google and boom get an answer.
Thanks for reading,
BYE!!!
Last Chapter of High School
As I go into my last four days of school I realize I will be leaving the people I have been going to school with since preschool. I have spent such an enormous amount of time with these people and I have truly formed great bonds with a lot of them. I am going into my own world and I know in an earlier blog I talked about where I am going today and whats going on in my life but in this blog I want to say goodbye to my High School and goodbye to my senior class.
Dear Friends,
Thank you for all the amazing experiences you have given to me throughout the years. I will remember each and every memory we have built together. I am so lucky to have such a non judgmental group of people. I have grown up with you all and each and every day we have become more mature together. Although not all of our experiences have been wonderful, they were merely a part of my life. I don’t expect perfection but the senior class of 09 came close. I felt warmly welcomed everyday by my senior class. I have grown close with few but will share a friendship or acquaintance with all. If I see you again in the future don’t be afraid to smile as you pass by, that smile will lighten my day and i will remember how meaningful my experiences in high school will. If we partied together , if you helped me with my homework, if we fought I will remember. I will never forget my senior class of 2009. Thank you for the good and for the bad!..
-Chloe
I am so excited to move on from high school. College will be a whole new great experience. Wish me luck!
Father’s Adoption Story
When researching adoption stories all over the Internet it was always written by the birth Mothers the adoptive mothers the daughters. Women, Women, Women and more WOMEN. This time I found something very different and very interesting. I found an adoption story written by a Father. I was shocked was this really happening? Wow what a treat for me to read. Not only was it one man writing a story it was a whole website for Adoptive Dads! How crazy how marvelous how interesting. So I started to read. This father is writing so wonderfully he is honest about how he doesn’t know if he wants to give up the pregnancy trail of having a baby and having conversations with his wife about whether the baby has his nose or his nose. Then he goes on to say ” but please don’t allow the prospect of missing out on nine months of pregnancy or how you imagined your family might start keep you from the lifetime of joy and grace that comes from adoption.” This is when I realized again adoption is so special. Having an adopted baby is special. Its something different. Although you treat the baby as your own and it is your own you can always remember the journey, hardships, excitement and craziness that came out of the adoption process. Plus you are a hero you are a hero to not giving birth to someone but taking a chance and giving someone a life. It is truly a beautiful thing. Although the adoption process can be difficult to me it seems it is very worth it. Being adopted is one of the greatest gifts I could have ever hoped for. If I wasn’t adopted I don’t know where I would be now. Being adopted is a lifetime long journey. Some people don’t except you for who you are but inside you are special. You got lucky and got chosen to move in with a great family who will love you unconditionally. Congratulations if you are reading this and you are adopted , you are special. This website really gave me a different prospective of birth parents or adoptive parents, it tells many different stories written by men instead of women. Its the mens point of view and quite frankly it might take you by surprise.
Please show support and check it out:
http://adoptivedads.org/
Differences Between International Adoption and Domestic Adoption
The differences between adopting internationally and domestically might just make your decision on what you want to do. One of the major factors includes cost. International adoption can be very expensive but you can figure out the cost right away. If you are adopting through a foster home or in your state, the process will cost very little. Private adopting is also a factor but this depends on the attorney fees, the agency fees and if you need to pay for the mothers care. Travel is another aspect you need to realize, in some international adoptions you may have to have an unexpected stay in the country you are adopting in. Some people don’t speak the same language as you so making sure you communicate correctly can be difficult. With international adopting more than one trip may be required. Some international adopting requires taking classes that can take up to 25 hours to complete. It is very unlikely that someone will receive a new born when going about international adoption this is because the time it takes to complete the paper work and receive a referral. Also some countries keep children hoping for an adoption to take place within their own country. Once the child reaches a certain age they are ok for international adoption. With domestic adoptions you will be placed with an infant.
I really learned a lot about the pros and cons of international adopting and domestic adoption. I feel that if I were to adopt I would first try to internationally adopt from Africa or Brazil because I know that these countries need a lot of help. Especially Africa is stricken with poverty everywhere. In Brazil little kids rom the dangerous streets stealing money and food whenever they can. They don’t have a place to sleep and this makes me very sad and it makes me want to help.
Check Out Different Adoption Stories
This first adoption story is very sad. It is about a woman who had to give up to children and she was devastated. On top of that someone very close to her committed suicide. This story was not easy to read. It made me think a lot about if my birth parents wanted to keep me at all and how they felt when I was first born. I think they probably didn’t care considering they had already had two girls before me. But still I am curious not because I just really want to know how it felt to put me up for adoption. I am glad they did and it was the right choice. I also wonder if they ever think of me. Please read this touching story by Laurie Frisch: http://www.motherhelp.info/about_me.htm.
This next story I read made me very happy. It is about a couple who adopted their daughter and were still looking for a sister for her. To their surprise they got more than they were asking for. This was exciting news and this is a wonderful happy adoption story.
http://www.adoptionassociates.net/domestic/dom_stories/michael_and_dani/
This next story is also very happy. A couple looking for a baby finds the perfect one to fit their family. I love the happy adoption stories because they are much different then mine and make me think about maybe one day adopting a child. http://www.adoptionassociates.net/domestic/dom_stories/john_and_tammie/
This story is much like my own, it is long but so exciting at the same time this story made me think about myself and gave me some hope for what is to come. http://www.trishs.net/story1.html
Hilary’s story is about reuniting with her birth child. It is very intense and shocking. I enjoyed reading this but at the same time it kept me on the edge of my seat. http://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/relationships/family/Adoptionmotherchildreunite-Hilarys-Story.asp
The next adoption story was very interesting to me. It is about a birth mother who got pregnant at 17 unexpectedly. She had a terrible boyfriend and she herself didn’t realize she was pregnant for the first 6 months. How scary! It was so crazy reading about all the hard things this young girl my age went through. She had such a hard time putting her baby up for adoption but in the end I think she knew it was what was right for her. I love this story because the girl is the same age as me. http://www.achildswaiting.com/adoptive_parents/adoption_stories/adopt_birthmom_2.php
Where I am today
Today I am five days away from graduating high school. I work at a retail store and I love to shop and hangout with my boyfriend and my friends. I am so excited for summer because it will be a new beginning for me. No more needing to worry about what my high school teachers will say when I don’t do my homework or worrying about finishing my finals. For now I need to study study study and finish my classes, stay focused at graduation practice and boom on Friday I will be a graduate of 2009. This is such an exciting time in my life but on the other hand I’m very nervous for what I will be bringing to the world.
Next year I am planning on going to city college to get my general education then I will apply to go to FIDM the fashion institute of Design and Merchandising. This school is very expensive but I am very passionate and I would love to be an interior designer or a party planner. Although these sound good on paper I don’t know the challenged I will soon face in setting out for my goal. I know it will be harder than high school and I will have to be very independent. My excitement over weighs my fear and I will try my best to do what I can to accomplish my goal.
In less than two months I will be eighteen years old. This is so exciting for me. I feel like I can go off and do whatever I desire but i also need to think reasonable. I have been waiting to turn eighteen ever since I found my adoption papers. I am now more than ever so excited to be able to have a chance at finding my sisters. I don’t want to be disappointed however I need to know if they are out there looking for me or if they even know about me. I will be the legal age to try and find them and this makes a smile come over my face. The people that I wish I had since I was born will hopefully jump into my life and become my best friends. Its hard knowing I have my sisters but I have faith that I will be led to them. I think its in my life’s plan. It was meant to happen. I really sometimes wonder where they are, who they are, what kind of food they like, if they look like me and where they are living. I also get worried what if we are complete opposites and we don’t like each other? Or what if my two sisters already know about each other and don’t want to meet me. I have a huge challenge ahead of me but I’m ready I have been ready all my life for a new challenge and a new surprise to show up and here it is. I will meet them because I am determined to.
More Adoption News: People from Nepal adopt boys more than girls
Records at the Nepal Children´s Organization (NCO) show gender and social class are still major issues, for childless Nepali parents looking to adopt. 99% of Nepali parents whether foster or looking to adopt, adopt boys. They also want to make sure that the child isn’t very far down in the social class. This seems weird to me because a lot of people give their child up for adoption because they don’t have money to support them, so maybe this is different in Nepal but I doubt it. But the Ministry of Women, Children and Social Welfare has said that most people who are foreigners looking to adopt almost always are looking to adopt girls. To me hearing this it sounded like The foreigners want to help the girls because maybe they know what can happen to them, like being put into brothels and being used as sex slaves. I think that the Nepalese people surly know that if they adopt a girl, she could be kidnapped and put into a brothel, maybe this is why most adopt boys.
The NCO has records of 60 adopted by Nepalese from all different places such as Kathmandu to Bhaktapur in a year of which were all male. This is very sad to me because I feel like the girls need help to but maybe it is better that foreigner’s the children because of the Country’s situation. All those parents were very concerned about the social caste of the child and made sure it was close to their own.
Since 2000 about two thousand two hundred Nepalese children were adopted by foreign parents.” A clear majority of them were girls,” said Adhikari from NCO. In August 2000 the government rescued 22 children and reunited them with their birth parents. The government gave the right to the Ministry of Women Children and Social Welfare to decide whether a Nepali child can be adopted by foreign parents and whether the parents themselves qualify for adoption. The government has set a flat rate of adopting a child in Nepal, 3000 to the government and 5000 to the orphanage. The ministry has received more than 200 applications from foreigners looking to adopt in Nepal. According to the NCO Nepalese children have been adopted from all over the world like Italy, Spain, Japan, The UK, The US, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark and many other places. I am so happy that these children are finding homes, it does make me upset that the people adopting from Nepal are worried about the child’s social caste. This child will be their own so why would it matter, maybe they are trying to make money?
Adopting from a Different Country
Many people would rather adopt out of their country because they think that there are no kids here to adopt and it is also a very popular thing to do right now. I feel like celebrities kind of are making this a trend to have different ethnic babies. Look at Angelina Joile, she has many kids and all of the adopted ones are not from North America where she lives. There are still many children who live here who need help also. In a way I am sort of happy Madonna’s attempted adoption was not a success. I feel like taking a child out of their surroundings that they know to help them have a better life is a nice thought but many children that are indeed adopted and old enough to remember can certainly feel like they have been rejected or neglected from their birth parents and this can cause serious damage later on. I think that adopting out of the country is a nice thing to do and I understand that North America is more developed than some countries so adopting from other places can help children there. The government makes sure that
• the child cannot be cared for in his/her own country
• “the adoption would be in the best interests of the child and with respect to the child’s fundamental rights as recognised in international law”(http://ezinearticles.com/?International-Adoption—The-Basics-of-Adopting-from-another-Country&id=148554)
• the adopter has been assessed as eligible and suitable to adopt from abroad by a registered adoption agency (a local authority or voluntary agency registered to work on International Adoptions).(http://ezinearticles.com/?International-Adoption—The-Basics-of-Adopting-from-another-Country&id=148554)
In general to adopt a child from another country it takes more or less one to three years. The whole process is just to make sure everything legal is settled and that the home is suitable for the chosen child. The world of international adoption is a very tight no room for error agency, this is because of human trafficking which I talked a little bit about in my news blog. It is really a horrible thing. Adoption orders can cut out all legal ties that a child might have with their birth family. It puts all the parental rights and responsibilities on the adoptive family. The birth parents will not have legal rights for their birth child and they cant take the child back. The child is like it was your birth child. They will have inheritance and be part of your family forever. I think that being adopted from another country would be a very life changing experience especially if you were adopted from a third world country. I think this because I know people adopted from third world countries and they always travel back to their country they were born in to help people and see what it is like there. Its like their homeland and I’m sure if I was born in a different country and was adopted I would go back as soon as I could to visit and maybe meet my birth parents and try to help them.
In Adoption news : International Adoption and My Adoption
In April 2009., a family from Chennai, India claims their children were kidnapped from them and sold. The family that adopted him believed that his birth parents were putting them up for adoption. This is one of the problems with oversea adopting. Over a dozen children have been kidnapped and adopted to Australia. At least one hundred and twenty children were kidnapped from the poor parts of India and they have been sold to a adoption agency based in Chennai, India for a small profit of two hundred and eight dollars. Indian police have been quoted saying that when the children are brought to the Malaysian Social Services they are given new identities before they are sent overseas. Children are not only sold to adoption agencies but they are also sold to brothels where the girls are forced to stay in a small room all day and be raped and beat by men. The youngest person ever found in a brothel was a two year old girl in the Calcutta Red district of India. The worst thing is that after their families either sell them to the brothels of if they girls are kidnapped they are not welcome back to the family. The community completely hates and looks down upon these girls when they didn’t even do something by choice. The children were placed in an orphanage by their birth mother to be educated. But the uneducated birth mother was tricked into signing a surrender deed and later when she tried to regain custody she was denied. The orphanage trained the nine and eleven year old girls to say that their father had died and their birth mother gave them up. Finally the girls told their adoptive parents the truth, when they tried to figure out what had gone on the American adoption agency refused to react. The family finally found the birth parents six years later but the girls had already got used to the lives they had in Alabama. The family decided to have an open adoption and they regularly visit the birth parents of the girls. It is so crazy and so devastating to the family who adopt these children, once they find out the parents risk their children leaving them and going back to India to be with their birth parents. This is so heart breaking for me to hear. Being adopted I could never imagine if I found out that I was really kidnapped when I was a young girl and then I found out that my birth parents were still alive in a different country. I really have no desire to meet my birth parents not because “they gave me up” as many other adopted people may say but I am perfectly happy in my family that I have. My birth parents were not good people and this news story particular relates to my adoption story because my birth parents didn’t exactly “sell me” but it came pretty close. My birth parents were threatening my parents saying if they didn’t but them a car and pay for all of their things they would change their mind and take me away from them. My Mom is a very smart person and she hired a private investigator. I wasn’t exactly sold to a different country and abducted but my birth parents would have rather had money then me, and for me I’m fine with that because I have the best family I could ever ask for and if I was never adopted I don’t know where I would be today. This story is very close to my heart because I know there are many similar to it and I realize that kidnapping is a very big issue in many countries and unfortunately people are so money hungry that they will take some body’s children. This is so sad to me and I would love to research more and see how I could get involved to help. Source: http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/uncategorized/cbi-unearths-child-kidnapping-racket-australian-family-stunned-lead_10088504.html
Researching adoption
When researching adoption on line I have found many different views and opinions. I have looked at so many websites giving the pros and cons of adopting a child. The website I felt gave me the most accurate and interesting information was adoption.com. This website can be very helpful for pregnant families , families looking to adopt, people looking for parenting advice, people looking to reunite with birth family members and just to find basic information on adoption. The most interesting part of this website for me was reading other peoples blogs on adoption and their stories. Reading about people who have stories similar to me was inspiring. This makes me want to write more about being adopted and encouraging families to adopt. On this website you can find out the laws of California adoption and ways to figure out whats right for you and your baby. If you cant find what you are looking for on this website there are many links to other websites that provide more information. Something I found very interesting is that you are able to choose a certain type of baby you want to adopt for example : a baby from Africa, Vietnam, Russia, a Jewish baby, a Christian baby, a Ukraine baby the choices are endless. Seeing that there are one hundred and seventy six children waiting to be adopted or fostered shocked me. They have the pictures names and ages of the children. This made me feel sad because these children need homes and I wish I could do something to help. Adoption. com shares information about adoptions in California. Adoptions from Agencies in California can be licensed public of private. The California Department of Social Services ( CDSS) can also put children up for adoption. The California Department of Social Services will help birth parents placing their child up for adoption, they will also help families looking to adopt.They help by providing assistance and educational information to the families who are interested and are in the process of adoption. Some birth parents are very insisting on who they will let adopt their child. They want to make sure their child goes to a good family who will take care of them. If the birth parents do not want to lose contact with their baby they can chose to have an open adoption. The California adoption law allows birth parents and relatives to enter into a post adoption contract agreement with the adoptive parents, this has to be approved by a court. The agreement says the birth parents/relatives can ask to receive information about the child in the future or request to be in contact with the child. I think adoption is such a great thing. Helping children who don’t have a safe home and taking them in to better their lives is so wonderful. I am so happy that there is this website to help people who are either pregnant and need help figuring out what their options are or for people who are looking to adopt. This is such a resourceful website and it helped me learn more about adoption and can be so helpful to many people.
